


Let Me Sleep

by miangel29



Series: Very few of us are what we seem [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Denial of Feelings, Doctor Jeon Wonwoo, Hand Tremors, Implied Sexual Content, Insomnia, M/M, Medication, Mentions of Death, Older Man/Younger Man, Older Wonwoo/Younger Mingyu, Sleeping Pills, Trauma, Young heir Mingyu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:48:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26723155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miangel29/pseuds/miangel29
Summary: Wonwoo leaves. And he takes Mingyu’s ability to sleep again with him.(Based on Going Seventeen: Bad Clue, with slight adjustments. Heed the warnings.)
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu
Series: Very few of us are what we seem [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1960600
Comments: 20
Kudos: 166





	Let Me Sleep

**Author's Note:**

> Their ages are NOT exactly like they are in GoSe. Mingyu has been aged UP to 25 years old and Wonwoo has been aged DOWN to 40 years old.
> 
> I am deeply uncomfortable with age difference relationships, but I really wanted to write this fic because the idea wouldn’t leave me, so this was my compromise. Rated mature for the themes and possibly triggering aspects.
> 
> One more thing: the italicized portion is a flashback, if that isn't obvious.
> 
> Enjoy~

**Let Me Sleep**

***

Try as he may, it was difficult to maneuver out of tangled sheets, a heavy blanket and a soft mattress without triggering some sort of disturbance to the other person sharing the bed. It was minimal, and despite the slight dipping of the mattress and quiet rustling of fabric, Wonwoo thought he managed to slip out unnoticed, undetected, free to leave without the questioning and explanation he dreaded to face.

He was not quiet enough.

“Where are you going?”

Fingers on his wrist, not gripping, not even holding, just touching.

He should have answered. Wonwoo should have spoken. The warning sirens in his head that any answer was better than no answer at all. But his silence stretched on a little too long.

“Wonwoo?”

The shifting of the bed and the turning of the blanket was followed by a hand clearly groping through the bedside table, a bright blue light cutting through the otherwise opaque bedroom.

“It’s only 2 a.m.,” the sleepy voice said, groaning. “Why are you up?”

Wonwoo used that moment when fingers no longer lingered on his wrist to remove himself fully from the bed and attempt to wade through the pile of clothes on the floor for his own. It was hard to make out which shirt belonged to whom with only a sliver of the moonlight sneaking past the dark curtains. He adjusted his glasses to squint better, but his haste and the impending dread of what he was doing did nothing to help his case.

“Babe?”

That made Wonwoo freeze. And his blood run ice cold. The tremor in his hands broke through like the security alarm going off in an invaded household, forewarning of just how close his emotions were to surfacing. He gripped his shoulders, standing up straight, willing his voice to be steady, stable, firm, as he finally responded to the man in the bed.

“We can’t do this anymore.”

The night had been silent, as silent as any other midnight city apartment could be, the occasional sounds of traffic and bursts of nighttime music and drunken yells breaking through the calm serenity. But the silence that fell onto the two people in the room was different. It was far from calm, far from the usual midnight silence one would indulge to lull one’s self into sleep. It was heavy, stifling, suffocating silence.

“What?”

Wonwoo dared turn this time, spectacled eyes finding ones that sparkled with the little moonlight filtering through.

“This stops here, Mingyu.”

The young man on the bed stared at his standing companion, his disarrayed hair and bedridden face doing nothing to deplete the look of utter shock on his face. The face that had graced his family’s photo frames. A man of blessed looks, handsome by anybody’s objective standards, even as he sat up in his own bed, still somewhat sleep-ridden and nowhere near his usually impeccable ensemble. But all Wonwoo saw was youth. Such pure youth. Purity that he had tainted.

Wonwoo shook his head free of any distracting thoughts, looking back down to retrieve his clothes.

A click and yellow light flooded the spacious bedroom. Wonwoo immediately spotted his underwear, shirt and pants, grabbing them quickly as he simultaneously tried to put them on before this conversation could be prolonged. But Mingyu was already out from under the covers, uncaring about decency and heading straight for Wonwoo, grip this time strong and willful against his forearm.

“What are you doing?” he demanded.

“Leaving,” Wonwoo said, trying to shake his arm free from Mingyu’s hold.

“Just for tonight?” Mingyu dared ask, his grip only tightening, but his voice wavering.

Wonwoo shouldn’t have, but he didn’t think he was doing Mingyu right by being even more of an asshole than he already was. He thought that at the very least, Mingyu deserved this, Deserved to be spoken to with respect, with acknowledgement, with sincerity. So he looked up, met Mingyu’s eyes dead-on. And felt his heart break.

If things were different...if _they_ had been different, maybe he wouldn’t have had to see that expression on Mingyu’s face. Maybe he wouldn’t have to put the two of them through this pain. Maybe they could _actually_ be together. But there were things they couldn’t change. And there were things Wonwoo had resolved to do for both of their best interests.

“Not just tonight,” Wonwoo’s voice came out as a whisper.

The fingers around his forearm slackened and Wonwoo took that chance to break free, walking out of the bedroom as he buttoned up his shirt. It wasn’t until Wonwoo had fully redressed and located his wristwatch on the kitchen counter, along with his keys and wallet that the sound of Mingyu’s footsteps followed him out of the bedroom. He had his sleeping shorts and oversize t-shirt on him, his hair still defying gravity and sheet marks on his face, but he still looked breathtaking.

If only his face didn’t look like somebody had run a hammer through his chest and caved his ribs into his heart.

“Wonwoo, why are you doing this?”

Wonwoo’s eyes flashed at Mingyu. “It’s dr. Jeon.”

The young man stopped in his tracks, a meer feet away from Wonwoo, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “What?”

“You need to call me dr. Jeon. It isn’t polite to call someone older than you so casually by their first name.”

The muscle in Mingyu’s jaw tightened, clenching with the realization of what this discussion was implying, the core issue at hand. His stance became less implorative and much more displeased, almost exasperated.

“So that’s what this is about, huh?” Mingyu said.

Wonwoo didn’t even bother denying it, slipping on his watch and pocketing his wallet. “I don’t have anything else to say.”

“We had this conversation a year ago, when this all started,” Mingyu said, stepping in Wonwoo’s path to the door. “What makes things different now?”

Wonwoo took a deep breath, looking up, up at the man who used to look up to _him_ , the young man whom Wonwoo had watched grow into the outwardly perfect _chaebol_ portrayed in every single romance drama broadcasted on television. The man from whom Wonwoo should have never accepted a proposition.

“It’s exactly because things aren’t different that we need to stop,” Wonwoo explained. “You’re too young, Mingyu. You should be with someone your age. This...us...this can’t go on. It’s not right.”

The ache in Wonwoo’s chest hurt much, much less than the utter devastation and disappointment showing on Mingyu’s face. For all the lives he had saved, for all the sick people he had recovered, Wonwoo felt like the only person he had wanted to heal was the one and only person he kept hurting. And when he spoke, Wonwoo didn’t think he could breathe from just how wounded Mingyu sounded.

“If...if you always thought that, then why...why did you...this past year…?”

Wonwoo wanted to have an answer for Mingyu. No, it wasn’t that. He _did_ have an answer, but he would rather walk out in silence than have to voice out that answer. The eyes that bore into his, looking for the answer Wonwoo refused to speak, the eyes that seemed to plead for Wonwoo to relent, to give in, to let them be, to change nothing between them, maintain the status quo. To let them stay happy.

But Wonwoo was determined.

“Goodbye, Mingyu.”

Mingyu was just as relentless.

“Wait.”

Wonwoo’s wrists seemed to have a beacon for Mingyu’s wrists. They were the place Mingyu continued to anchor himself onto, the place he locked onto to keep the man from taking a further step away from his apartment. Away from Mingyu.

“I’ll...I’ll let you leave,” Mingyu said softly as though the mere idea of it tortured him to say. “But only...only if you tell me, honestly, that you have no feelings for me. That this meant nothing to you.” He swallowed heavily. “That _I_ mean nothing to you.”

In another place, another time, another _lifetime_ , Wonwoo would have caved. He would have told Mingyu everything he had kept to himself, everything his heart yearned to let loose, everything weighing down his decision to leave. He would kiss Mingyu senseless, pull him back into the bedroom, let the last hours of dusk be witness to Wonwoo’s declarations of adoration and affection. And he would hold Mingyu until the sun rose, until it was sunlight peeking through the blinds, bright and unforgiving unlike the moonlight. And he would stay there, hold the man he cared about in his embrace for as long as he liked.

But that was neither here nor there. They were Mingyu, the grandson and heir to a successful family business, and Wonwoo, the family’s long-time resident doctor. Fifteen years apart. There was simply no place for them in their world. He had let this go on for a year and that had been a mistake.

Mingyu’s eyes were still searching, hoping. Wonwoo hated to be the one to have to kill their light.

“I don’t love you.”

And therein lay Wonwoo’s second mistake. One that not only he but the man before him perceived as the last syllables left his mouth. One that they both knew spoke of a much deeper truth, a much more obscure honesty that perhaps neither one were ready for, nor should have been privy to, especially at such a juncture in their...acquaintanceship.

Yet they both knew it was nothing but the truth. The paradox of the statement with the true meaning held behind them.

Because Wonwoo had given an answer to a question Mingyu never asked. One neither of them had _dared_ ask, for fear of disrupting the status quo, of jeopardizing the careful balance they had established. But now that the balance had gone askew, perhaps that was the loophole Wonwoo’s heart saw to soar through. And maybe that was much, much worse.

***

_“Mingyu, why aren’t the pills helping you?”_

_The young, frazzled man sitting across from him gave a hollow laugh. “I don’t know, dr. Jeon. If I can’t sleep, I can’t sleep.”_

_Wonwoo put down his iPad, tucking it back into the medical bag he had brought along. For the past six months he had been getting infrequent calls to treat the youngest of the Park empire’s line, but nothing had been able to alleviate his patient’s anxiety nor help address his insomnia. Even professional help with a specialist had garnered little to no results. There was something beyond emotional trauma that haunted this young man and Wonwoo felt, by this point, that anything he had learned in textbooks, in his professional training, was beginning to fail in delivering any significant improvements._

_“Mingyu, why don’t you lie down on the couch,” Wonwoo suggested._

_The man looked up at him, his mind clearly having been wondering. “What?”_

_“Lie down,” Wonwoo repeated, gesturing towards the couch Mingyu was sitting on in the common room the Park family frequently vacated when they had a doctor's call._

_Warily but obediently, Mingyu laid down. The doctor moved his seat closer, stopping right by Mingyu’s side. It was a little comical to see the towering young man stretched out on the couch that barely managed to accommodate his length. But the dark bags under his eyes and the pallid quality to his skin brought Wonwoo back to the issue at hand._

_“Why don’t we try some simple breathing exercises,” Wonwoo said. “I’ll guide you through and you let me know if this helps at all.”_

_Mingyu nodded, eyes wide and hopeful as they met Wonwoo’s. The young man before him was frightened, clearly held hostage by fear that he himself could not comprehend that was preventing his mind from fully resting._

_“Close your eyes,” Wonwoo instructed. “Take one deep breath through your nose for four counts, then hold your breath for seven counts...and slowly exhale through your mouth for eight counts.”_

_They had reached the tenth repetition of the assisted breathing when Wonwoo felt that Mingyu was no longer following his cues. He was just about to open his mouth to ask how Mingyu was feeling when he realized that there was a reason Mingyu had fallen out of pattern: he had fallen asleep._

_Blinking back his surprise, Wonwoo let out a breath that he didn’t know he had been holding himself. A smile subconsciously graced his face and an immense weight lifted off his shoulders._

_“Goodnight, Mingyu,” Wonwoo said, his hand reaching out to push the hair out of Mingyu’s face before he could realize what he was doing. He withdrew his hand quickly when he became aware of his actions, frowning at his own impulse, but nevertheless moving to pack his medical equipment quickly to leave the Park residence._

_Four similar sessions later and Wonwoo was no longer answering house calls to treat the youngest_ chaebol _of the Park family. While this could only mean that his insomnia had improved to the point that he no longer required medical attention, something about the lack of their frequency in meeting did not exactly excite Wonwoo._

_The next time they had met was almost another six months later, at a gathering held by the Park patriarch, a celebration of some sorts that Wonwoo couldn’t really comprehend, but it had probably had something to do with the recent court decision to absolve the Chairman of all possible charges in a corruption case. The attendance of the presiding prosecutor only further affirmed the assumption._

_Wonwoo had come alone, no doubt simply an acquaintance granted the extra invitation to secure loyalty ties and ensure that Wonwoo remained within their good books. But his old undergraduate friend was also part of the Park line and had greeted him by the door and escorted him inside, so it hadn’t been all that awkward for Wonwoo to step into the lavishly decorated foyer._

_“How do you know Uncle Seokmin, dr. Jeon?”_

_The figure that sidled up to his side, matching his steps, was both familiar and a little foreign. Mingyu was no stranger, but the Mingyu that was holding a champagne glass, tux, shirt, and tie a monotone of ebony, was nothing like the Mingyu that Wonwoo had treated._

_“Hey Mingyu,” Wonwoo greeted, accepting the other glass of champagne Mingyu had in his hand. “You, uh,” Wonwoo paused, letting his eyes take in the entirety that was Mingyu, the perfect portrait of a young_ chaebol _from head to toe. He stopped at Mingyu’s eyes. So much more spark, so much more_ life _. “You look good.”_

_Mingyu chuckled and something in Wonwoo’s chest cavity twitched. “Thanks,” he said. “Your, um, breathing exercises helped.”_

_Wonwoo raised both eyebrows, pleased to hear the confirmation. “So you can sleep well now?”_

_“I still don’t have a proper sleeping cycle,” Mingyu said shyly, shuffling his feet as though his lack of a full recovery was something to be ashamed of. “But I get a couple of hours of sleep every night and that’s more than I’ve ever gotten since….well, since.” He threw Wonwoo a sad smile._

_“That’s good. It’s an improvement and that’s good enough,” Wonwoo said, his hand somehow finding Mingyu’s upper arm and rubbing it consolingly._

_Both their eyes landed on that hand, still rubbing, this time slowly, Mingyu’s arm. Wonwoo thought back to the time he had let temptation take him and brushed Mingyu’s hair away as he slept. There was something about Mingyu that tested Wonwoo’s self-control and it didn’t seem like Mingyu minded. Not if the way Mingyu stepped closer into his space was any indication._

_“Are you here with anyone?” Mingyu asked, voice taking on a lower tone._

_Wonwoo’s hand dropped from place on Mingyu’s arm, but not before Mingyu caught his wrist in the cage of his fingers._

_“I came alone,” Wonwoo answered, now watching the way Mingyu’s fingers trailed the inside of his wrist._

_The smile that lit up Mingyu’s face was unmistakably and utterly vibrant. Wonwoo had never seen anything so bright, so dazzling, so_ alive _. He felt warmth seep into his very bones and a comforting weight against his chest. There wasn’t a medical answer to what Wonwoo was feeling, but he had an inkling as to what it was._

_“Why don’t we get some food and you can tell me how you know Uncle Seokmin, dr. Jeon.”_

_Wonwoo returned the smile, letting Mingyu lead him towards the table of hors d'oeuvres, greeting a few others of the Park family that Wonwoo had come to know over the years as they did._

_Mingyu’s fingers never left his wrist._

***

There was a sense of déjà vu that overwhelmed Wonwoo when he stepped into the entryway of the Park mansion. It wasn’t like he was infrequently there; over the years, he had come to be closely acquainted with the place as more and more of the Park family grew older. But tonight was different. Tonight was the first time Wonwoo would be attending another Park family event after a long while. The first time, especially, after he had spoken and seen Mingyu. He tried to stop his hands from trembling more than they already had.

Seokmin was right at the door to greet the guests, as he had been over a year ago, the last time Wonwoo himself had come to one of these events. 

“Hey, Wonwoo!” He was given a tight hug, all forms of formal mannerisms out the window.

“Hey,” Wonwoo hugged back, patting him on the back. “How’s it been?”

“Good, good,” Seokmin said, pulling apart from the hug to look at Wonwoo properly. “You look like you’ve seen better days.”

Wonwoo didn’t think he looked particularly bad, but he hadn’t properly looked at himself in the mirror for the past month or so, only briefly making sure he deemed himself presentable before he left his apartment that evening. He must have had a very low bar for what was acceptable for a Park evening event. How foolish of him.

“Just a lot of work,” Wonwoo tried to justify, giving his friend a comforting smile.

“We should catch up more often!” Seokmin said, swinging an arm around Wonwoo’s shoulders. “Some of the old college squad sometimes get together for drinks downtown. You should come!”

Wonwoo gave a noncommittal tilt of the head. “Maybe,” he said. “So what’s the occasion tonight?”

Seokmin’s face lit up at the mention of the night’s celebration. “Mingyu’s moving back into the house!”

Wonwoo felt his heart stop and a sinking feeling tugged at his insides. “Mingyu?”

“Yeah, he moved back in a couple of weeks ago,” Seokmin said, his excitement suddenly dampening, his expression taking on a frown. “Apparently his insomnia came back, worse than ever. So my dad wanted him back in the house so we could all look after him. Favourite grandson and all.” He rolled his eyes good-naturedly at this.

The heavy weight inside his chest continued to grow, whether it was concern for the man of the night or guilt about what Wonwoo had done a month ago, he wasn’t quite sure. But the timeline between Mingyu’s insomnia returning and Wonwoo’s departure from his life was not at all coincidental. Not when Wonwoo knew, first hand, how well Mingyu had slept by his side.

“Ah look, speak of the devil! There’s the man of the hour himself!”

Anything Wonwoo had thought or imagined about their eventual reunion, was far from the reality of the actual thing happening. Whatever he had prepared, mentally or otherwise, hadn’t been enough for that moment when Wonwoo looked up from conversing with Seokmin to meet eyes he hadn’t seen for weeks, a figure that hadn’t loomed over his smaller form for so long, and a face that Wonwoo wished, hoped, _prayed_ would not cause his heart to break even more the next time they met. Wonwoo’s thoughts had only been wistful.

“Hey Mingyu, you remember Wonwoo, right?” Seokmin had always been a little oblivious, incapable of properly reading the situation and atmosphere around him. Otherwise, he would not have moved from Wonwoo’s side to swing an arm around Mingyu this time, pushing him forward towards Wonwoo.

Mingyu’s face was pale, so much paler than Wonwoo had ever seen, even when Wonwoo had first answered a house call for the young heir after his father’s untimely death. It had the unhealthy quality of a person who was clearly draining his energy with the lack of rest he was getting. The faded grey suit he had on did nothing to help his complexion, far from the polished man Wonwoo had met at that event over a year ago, this man looked worn, tired, defeated, almost. Wonwoo’s heart ached, with the reality of Mingyu’s condition before him and also with the inability to reach out his hand and offer Mingyu comfort.

“Good evening, _dr_. _Jeon_. Welcome.” The weak smile Mingyu gave him, the tremble in his voice, and the emphasis on the formal greeting, served to thrust a sharper knife into Wonwoo’s chest. 

Before Wonwoo could gather enough composure to respond, Seokmin had already cut in. “Are you taking pills again?” he asked, lifting the hand Mingyu had by his side, an obvious bottle of medication in his hands.

Mingyu turned to his uncle, glancing at the bottle in his hands as if realizing he was still holding them for the first time. “Ah yeah,” he said, frowning at the bottle. “But they’re useless. Doesn’t help at all.”

Seokmin let out a dramatic gasp. “Well maybe we should get Wonwoo to do another house call and prescribe you something stronger,” Wonwoo could not meet Seokmin’s eyes at that suggestion. “You were doing so well until about a month ago. What happened?”

Mingyu looked up, eyes slowly meeting Wonwoo’s again. There was an unspoken message there, perhaps a nostalgic memory of the last time they had been together, the night Wonwoo had unilaterally bid goodbye. But there was also a part of Wonwoo that he saw in Mingyu’s eyes, his heartbreak mirrored in those dull orbs. Gone was the spark he’d grown accustomed to seeing, gone was the light that would accompany the wide, toothy grin Mingyu always gave. The man that stood before Wonwoo was not the man he shared a bed with. He was but a shell of the man Wonwoo knew.

“I guess I lost my nightmare safety doll,” Mingyu’s wry smile was directed at Wonwoo, unabashed and unforgiving.

Wonwoo willed his hands not to tremble.

“And besides,” Mingyu continued, “I don’t think dr. Jeon would want to return as our family doctor if he’s already submitted his resignation weeks ago.”

Wonwoo could feel his hands shake and he had nothing to hold onto to keep them stable. Mingyu’s eyes glanced down at them, too used to Wonwoo’s tremors to not notice the telltale signs of them. Wonwoo quickly tried to hide his hands behind his back, but the damage had been done.

“It’s good that you’re back with your family, Mingyu,” Wonwoo said, knowing that Mingyu’s mouth was opening to say something, words that Wonwoo may not be strong enough to fight against. “I’m sure they’ll help you recover. Now, if you’ll both excuse me, I should give my regards to the rest of your family.”

Seokmin and Mingyu couldn’t get another word in as Wonwoo swept away with a small smile, hands held tightly behind his back. He could feel eyes following him as he walked away, even as the night went on and he mingled with the family members he used to care for. But Wonwoo refused to turn around. He just couldn’t. And he shouldn’t. Because if he did, he didn’t think he could ever turn back.

***

He had parked a distance away from the house, enjoying the distance that afforded him the time to walk in the peaceful night. It had also given him time to pep-talk himself before the party and now, as he left, it had given him the needed time to clear his thoughts. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, checking through the messages he had received during the night, hoping none of them included an emergency at the hospital he now worked at. Fortunately, it seemed like he could clock out for the night and drive home to sleep.

The universe apparently had other ideas.

“You still use that phone case.”

Feet skidding to a halt, Wonwoo looked up from his phone, startled at the towering figure leaning against his car. The streetlights barely provided enough clarity to identify the person, but he really didn’t need that to deduce his mystery companion. The voice and the comment told him more than he needed.

“What are you doing here, Mingyu?”

In lieu of an answer, Mingyu pulled out his own phone, giving it a little shake to catch Wonwoo’s attention. “Twin phonecases.” 

Wonwoo rolled his eyes. “It’s a generic phonecase, Mingyu. Even Seokmin has the same one.”

Mingyu snorted. “Uncle Seokmin got one after he saw ours. He doesn’t count.”

Scoffing, Wonwoo took out his car keys, unlocking his vehicle. “Ours doesn’t either. It’s not like a couple’s thing or anything. Now go back to your house. I’m going home.”

“Right, because we were never a couple, were we, _dr._ _Jeon_?” Mingyu said, words scathing but tone without a bite. “You were just the only person who could get me to relax enough so I could finally sleep.” Simple, unbridled facts.

Wonwoo’s jaw clenched, his hands beginning to tremble again. “I’m sure you can find somebody to sleep with you in both the metaphorical and literal sense. You’ll be sleeping like a baby again in no time.”

Mingyu caught him, just as he walked past to make his way to the driver’s side door. The place where he had been leaning had clearly been carefully calculated, knowing Wonwoo would have to bypass him to make his escape. Fingers found a familiar wrist, the hold gentle but unyielding. And for the first time that night—for the first time in a long while—Wonwoo felt grounded, the heaviness in his chest alleviating, and the tremors in his hand dissipating.

“I can’t,” Mingyu said. “I’ve tried.”

The implication being that Mingyu had been intimate with another person during the time Wonwoo had cut ties with him. It shouldn’t have hurt him, he should have been prepared to hear something like that. He _had_ been the one to walk out on Mingyu. But it hurt. It still hurt.

“You’ll find someone,” Wonwoo was rambling. “You’ll definitely find someone suitable for you. Someone you’ll care about, someone who will accompany you to sleep, someone your age—.”

“I won’t,” Mingyu cut off, tugging Wonwoo closer to him by the wrist. “And I don’t want to.”

Wonwoo couldn’t resist the pull, as much as he knew he should have, but the part of him that kept fighting against his heart’s will was tired, oh so tired and ready to give up. It would be so easy and so, so relieving to just let himself accept something he knew would make him happy, something that would put his heart and mind at ease. And maybe Mingyu sensed his resolve crumbling, maybe Mingyu could see it in the way Wonwoo didn’t try to push away from him, and maybe that was why Mingyu delivered his final blow.

“Take me home, Wonwoo.”

The remaining breath in him escaped in a hasty gasp, not only from the blatant use of informality, but the implication behind the request: a reconciliation, an undoing of Wonwoo’s severance a month ago, and perhaps a return to their mutual company. Mingyu’s fingers tightened around Wonwoo’s wrist before the tremors could take on their full form, the seeds immediately tampered down by the grounding grip.

“I just...I want to sleep again, Wonwoo.” A deep, shaky inhale. “It’s been so long and I’m so tired. I just want to sleep.” Tear-sparkling eyes looked up at Wonwoo. “Please.”

It wasn’t just a request; it was a desperate plea. The despair in Mingyu’s voice, reflected as they were in his eyes, pierced what remained of Wonwoo’s resolve. It had been hard to say goodbye to Mingyu all those nights ago, but it was nearing impossible to push him away right then. The more Wonwoo gazed into Mingyu’s crumbling composure, the more he felt his own heart attempt to retrieve the fallen pieces of Mingyu as the glue to put himself together.

Wonwoo had always known how he felt and the reminder of it was returning now, on the precipice of his and Mingyu’s reunion. But unlike last time, the prospect of it didn’t scare him nor did it feel wrong for him to pursue it. Perhaps the error had been to ever let them be apart in the first place. And maybe it was that feeling of tranquility settling in his chest at the thought that propelled him to speak.

“Okay.”

Mingyu’s breath was released in a rush of hot air, laughter escaping out of his mouth as a wide smile broke over his face. The fingers around Wonwoo’s wrist loosened, sliding up Wonwoo’s arms to pull him in closer. Mingyu let the weight of his head fall onto Wonwoo’s chest, his arms moving to secure themselves around Wonwoo’s waist, another stuttering breath leaving him as though the close proximity was finally affording him relief.

Tentative hands cradled Mingyu’s head, a nose finding their place in the depths of Mingyu’s hair, Wonwoo’s own deep exhale of solace softly rustling the strands as he let their closeness comfort his being.

***

Later that night, in Wonwoo’s bed, Mingyu reaffirming his place in the safety of Wonwoo’s chest, the young man drew Wonwoo’s attention with words mumbled against his chest.

“Did you hate us that much?”

Wonwoo frowned, pulling Mingyu’s head a distance to enable them to talk. “Mingyu, I never hated you.”

Mingyu shook his head as gentle as he could given their position. “I know you never hated me. Did you hate _us_ ? Did you hate the idea of _us_ so much that you had to leave?”

Fingers stroked through Mingyu’s hair, contemplating. It was funny how a man of Mingyu’s stature had always managed to make himself so small in Wonwoo’s arms, so fragile. But that was Mingyu with Wonwoo: always baring himself to his full vulnerability, allowing Wonwoo to see the most tender, most frail sides. Perhaps it was time Wonwoo did the same.

“I was scared of the idea of us,” he admitted. “I didn’t want to believe that us, _this_ , could make me so....”

“So irrevocably in love?” The cheeky grin that accompanied the interruption earned Mingyu a flick on the forehead.

“So at peace,” Wonwoo continued.

The hand that Mingyu had been using to rub at his sore forehead travelled towards Wonwoo’s face, trailing at his cheeks in a tender stroke. “Then don’t fight it. Stay with me. Be with me.”

Wonwoo felt his eyes close at the gentle touch. Wasn’t he supposed to be the one providing Mingyu with enough comfort to sleep?

“Even if I left again, you’d fight to bring me back again, wouldn’t you?”

The fingers against Wonwoo’s cheeks turned firm, cupping them securely as Mingyu pulled himself up, face aligning, noses brushing gently, breaths mingling, before, eventually, he let his lips caress Wonwoo’s. It was soft, gentle, barely a brush of their lips, but Wonwoo felt his breath stuttering nonetheless.

“I wouldn’t have to fight,” Mingyu said against his lips. “I know we’ll always find a way back to each other.”

The smile that overtook Wonwoo was irrepressible, greeted with an equally wide one from Mingyu. And only because he couldn’t stand the smug grin that was beginning to bloom on his partner’s face, Wonwoo leaned in for another kiss, deep and passionate this time. Mingyu was all too happy to welcome it.

***

**Author's Note:**

> I can’t believe it took Going Seventeen: Bad Clue for me to finally write a Seventeen fic. I wrote this in a day and a half, abandoning all my other WIPs in the process. But I needed to get this out of my system before I can go back to working on the other things I have in my drafts.
> 
> Depending on how the upcoming GoSe Bad Clue episodes go, this might turn into a series because I find the characters they play very intriguing. There is so much more room to explore about their relationships with one another. Although, for that to work, I may have to play around with their ages a little bit. But this is a big if and the series may never happen at all ahahahahaha
> 
> Anywho, let me know what you think in the comments below~ Or if you want to just discuss the GoSe episode to pinpoint suspects, I'd be happy to do that too!
> 
> xoxox  
> miangel29


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